


Can't Go Home Again

by talkingtothesky



Category: Mad Dogs (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-07
Updated: 2012-02-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 02:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/831464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talkingtothesky/pseuds/talkingtothesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quinn's going to leave again. Baxter won't accept it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Go Home Again

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for S1 and 2. Written for the oxoniensis [Porn Battle 2012](http://oxoniensis.livejournal.com/500924.html?thread=31622588).

Quinn slings his bag over his shoulder and starts to walk away. It's no harder than the last time, watching them drive off, knowing they're safer without him.

But for the second time a voice pipes up, calling his name as though it hurts to speak, and moments later there's a hand on his arm, pulling him back.

Baxter looks pained, embarrassed. "I'm coming with you."

Quinn quirks an eyebrow. "Go home. See your daughters. Sort your life out."

There's anger in the brown eyes. "And what about your daughters, Quinn? What do I tell them?"

Quinn detaches his arm from Baxter's grasp and walks on. "You'll think of something."

There's silence for a few more strides and with some relief Quinn thinks it's over, thinks Baxter's decided not to bother after all. Then, "They don't hate you as much as you think they do, you know."

Quinn comes to an abrupt halt, sand kicking up around his shoes. He stares at the ground because if he turns to look at Baxter he may well give in to the urge to strangle him. It doesn't matter whether they love or loathe him. He can never see them again. That's the price he pays for saving three lives and taking one. He's condemned to live on the run for as long as it takes for death to catch up with him.

There's a tentative touch between his shoulder blades, and then Quinn can't see his shoes anymore because Baxter's in the way, crowding in close, fingers tilting Quinn's jaw, almost pressing their foreheads together. He whispers urgently "And neither do I." Quinn closes his eyes, wants no part in this, but Baxter keeps talking, frustration in every syllable. "I've been pretending not to care because you asked me to. Thought being with Carmen would make it go away. It won't work. I'm not leaving you behind."

Something small but vital shatters in Quinn's chest and he opens his eyes. They stare each other down. Finally, he nods. Baxter's lips quirk. "Two tickets to Rio. What do you say?"

\---

They hide away somewhere remote, change their names. Every so often they break down another note or two, enough to get by. Every so often Quinn breaks down and Baxter learns to put aside his bravado and just hold him.

But it's not until Baxter works him open with his fingers, relentlessly encouraging him to let go, that Quinn believes for one second there might just be a future in this. He presses back into every touch, lets the loneliness ebb away, calls himself every wicked name he can think of, exorcises a little more guilt with each thrust of his hips. He doesn't deserve absolution, but that's what Baxter gives him.


End file.
